Ranty Cause: The Pain in Spain Falls Mainly on my Brain

I’m gonna rant and you’re gonna listen

SINCE Spain won the Euro’s and the World Cup I’ve become increasingly irked by listening to people in the know go on about how good they are and how good La Liga is, and it’s finally come to a head. I just can’t feckin take it anymore.

From the angle I look at it, it appears that as far as UEFA and FIFA are concerned there is one rule for Spain and all things Spanish and another for the rest of the world.

Take a look at the last two summer transfer markets for example. First off we had the Ronaldo saga; will he go or will he stay? Then last year we had the whole Cesc thing, with several Barca players forcing the poor lad into a Barca shirt. I don’t know about anyone else, but, by jaysus, as far as I’m concerned, that’s ‘tapping’ and did we hear anything from the “axis of evil” (UEFA/FIFA) that resides in Switzerland? Noooo!!!! Yet Chelski do it and “wham bam ban” and they get threatened with a one year transfer ban!

This one is dodgy and I’m likely to be sued out of existence for even thinking it, but after the first wave of the Galactico era – namely that of Zidane, Figo and “fat” Ronaldo – it was understood that debts at Real Madrid had risen close to 500 million yoyo’s and that the club was in serious difficulty at that particular time. From what I recall, it was rumoured that the Spanish government had stepped in on the “QT” and given Real a little helping hand to try and resolve their finances. Yet I don’t ever recall FIFA or UEFA enquiring into what happened. Yet, again we heard back in 2007 of UEFA’s extreme anger at the governments of Macedonia and Poland interfering in the affairs of their respective F.A.’s, and even threatening them with expulsion from competitions.

Off the pitch crap is one thing, but what the Spanish do in relation to on the pitch activities is a whole other ball game, pardon the pun. And this is where Barca in particular come to the fore. In recent meetings with Chelsea in the Champion’s League (bare in mind I hate them London c**ts), I have to say the decisions of match officials have been questionable.

While I found the reactions of the grass-eater (Drogba) side -splitting, I was totally with him when he exploded after the game. Prior to those fixtures it was a common occurrence to see the “whingy lil biatch” (Xavi) make references to the tough-tackling Chelski midfield and how ‘anti-football’ their standard of tackling was. But I knew what she was thinking (I would say “he” but he’d have to grow a pair first to earn that title). In Xavi’s mind it was ‘I like passing the ball and I don’t like when other people have it or win it off me, ergo, I’m gonna put a little whisper in the ref’s ear before the game that might influence any decision he might make,’ (f**ckin pansy!!).

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, it’s always noticeable that there’s a certain trio of Barca and Spain midfielders, namely Xavi, Iniesta, and Busquets, that happen to surround the ref any time one of their team-mates is on the ground “writhing in agony” with Busquets leading the charge for the issuing of a card. No other sides get away with ref-harassment like that. From what I know of the rule-book, that in itself is a card-worthy offence, and yes, you’ve guessed it, it never happens!

The example that comes to mind here is last years Champion’s League semi-final second leg in the Camp Nou against Inter. Busquets goes down holding his face after getting a tap to the neck from Motta, whom I might add wasn’t even looking at Busquets, and straight away Xavi is over looking for a card.

Click below. Watch out for the peek-a-boo moment from Busquets, it’s a classic. José even gives it a clap.

And when taken to a Spain context, watch this:

Iniesta’s hand in the air waving for a card anyone? At this point I must applaud the boy Robben. Even after being used as a pole in Puyol’s attempt at pole dancing, he kept going. No sign of a card there or a penalty for the Dutch. I guess real men stay on their feet.

And finally I come to La Liga, we all know it’s not often Eamon Dunphy gets it spot on, but when he says it’s a poor league, who in their right mind could go against him? Basically it’s the SPL with sunshine. Two teams, an odd challenger here or there but never sustained. Even insomniacs manage to sleep when games not involving the big two are on. Let’s face facts; it’s no Premier League, is it?

Right…Rant over, on to who to hate next?

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