Spud Watch – The Irish Abroad 29.09.10

 

IT LOOKS like one of our spuds is flourishing in foreign soil – Aiden McGeady put in a very impressive shift last night for Spartak Moscow, dazzling the home fans with skills and putting in some decent balls. The much-maligned McGeady and the Russian side are now looking good for the knockout stages on this form.

Seamus Ramos – It looks like David Moyes has heeded the advice of Spud Watch and finally given Seamus Coleman a Premier League start. Young Coleman excelled for Everton on Saturday putting two chances on a plate for Arteta and Cahill. Coleman came face to face with the fit again Damien Duff who looked equally impressive and created goal-scoring chances for the striker-less Fulham. In Coleman’s right-sided flare and Duff’s leftism – we could have two spud guns who can shoot down international defences. Coleman may be more of a winger than a full back; time will tell.

Stephen Kelly had to come off early; presumably because he had acting requirements with Emmerdale Farm.

John O’Shea and Man U missed out on a chance to gain ground on the leaders as they drew at neighbours Bolton – the Waterford utility man filled in at right-back this time.  Darren Gibson wasn’t even on the bench. Still no Joey O Brien. I think I may forget about him. It reminds of the time my cat died. Everyday I went out to look in the cardboard box coffin (I had made this for him after he got knocked down by the evil protestant farmer that lived up the road) – to see if he would wake up. Every day he still lay there, lifeless getting skinnier and more like Glenda Gilson by the hour. Eventually I had to give up and sell him to the local Chinese. I fear Owen Coyle may have to do the same. Perhaps Andy O’Brien’s nose may help sweeten the deal.

On the weekend’s big fixture – City v Chelsea

No place for Cunningham or Given after they were aired out and dusted in the Carling Cup a few days before. I imagine Given is in hell right now.

Stephen Reid came on with 20 minutes left and used all his experience to help WBA hang on at the Arsenal. I can’t remember the last time Arsenal had an Irish player but a good feed of spuds would not kill the gaunt-looking Wenger.

James McCarthy put in yet another great shift helping Wigan to a draw at Birmingham; a very strong team indeed considering how Keith Fahey’s arse is riddled with splinters from sitting on that bench – an unused sub once again. Stephen Carr put in yet another top showing. It kills me watching him play so well every single week and knowing that he will never play for us again. It’s like looking through the window of an award-winning expensive restaurant at a delicious bag of chips and not being allowed to eat them.

Keith Andrews returned to Blackburn, playing the final 20 minutes and was involved in the winner against local rivals Blackpool. He’s a strange one Keith Andrews – he’s like finding a nice potato in the cupboard that you never noticed before and turned out to taste quite nice despite not being fresh. Incidentally the nicest bag of chips I ever ate was while I was on holidays in Blackpool – 1997 it was – they were wrapped in newspaper and tasted delightful – I’ll never forget it.

Andy Reid was an unused sub for Sunderland at Anfield and will have his work cut out squeezing back into their lean and mean midfield.

Robbie Keane is still very much suffering the dreaded blight at White Hart Lane. He got 25 minutes and it was more than enough time for him to blow the game for Spurs. Robbie is in the worst form of his life but unlike any other time in his career he has been blessed by circumstance. Defoe is injured until November and Tottenham are in the Champions league. The next month will see if Robbie Keane, the once Golden Wonder, will end up being Hunky Dorey once more (scraping the bottom of the potato joke barrel here.)

Rory Delap came on for Whelan against Newcastle and set up the winner with his own bare hands; a lot like when God created earth and man, kind of. Whelan is struggling to make an impact at the moment. He’s in and out of the starting eleven but at least he’s getting games unlike Marc Wilson who will be making enquiries to Keith Fahey and many other Irish players about the ointment they get for the ass splinters. Kevin Nolan scored for Newcastle – I wonder will the yearly debate start again about trying to get him to play for us?

A lot like Chris Amrstrong many years back – the man simply does’nt want to play for us. As it says in the bible:

“You can grow potatoes in soil anywhere with the correct conditions but if the seed is not right it will never grow”

Paul’s letter to the angry Jews 3:12

Kevin Foley, Stephen Ward and Kevin Doyle  had a day to forget at home to Villa despite Doyle’s best efforts once again. Richie Dunne is still out injured for the Villa and yet again Stephen Ireland was an unused sub. It would be interesting to know what exactly is going on in the mind of Stephen Ireland, who recently turned 24. An international break would be just what he would need to get a chance to show the world what he can do and get some form back. This time two years ago the man was about to enter the realms of world-class-ness, being Man City’s MVP – now the man from Cork/Zog is about as valuable as a bag of last year’s potatoes.  A “Simple Twist of Fate” as Bob Dylan once put it. (He also had a song about Quinn The Eskimo, but that’s not relevant right now)

In the Championship:

Paul Green scored in Derby’s 5-0 win. Ian Harte continues to roll back the years by scoring for Reading against Barnsley and helping them to victory over Ipswich. He is probably our most in-form left back at the moment. Andy Keogh’s move to Cardiff continues to look like a good choice; he scored in their 2-1 win at home to Millwall. Amazingly there was no crowd trouble at this one.

For the first time in a long time the Ipswich bench was almost spudless. Keith Tracey netted again for Preston in their ridiculously high scoring 6–4 win; that’s four for him now. He is one of our bright sparks in these straitened times of poor crop.

Sean St Ledger’s defence conceded four; Alex Bruce scored one of them. Remember him? He was about as Irish as E.T.

Liam Lawrence was instrumental in Pompey’s two wins on the trot on Saturday and Tuesday – scoring a brace in their 6-1 pasting of Leicester. He’s in a rich vein of form in midfield at the moment along with Duff and McGeady.

McShane in, Kilbane out for Hull in their away win at Norwich and just when we thought things were improving for McShane, his defence conceded four on Tuesday to Burnley – the defender coming on to return to the left wing. With all due respect, Christ Almighty.

In Scotland

Anthony Stokes helped Celtic to another win with Daryl Murphy an unused sub. Another unused sub, for Aberdeen this time, was 18-year-old Joe Shaughnessy from Connemara in Galway who is a credit considering he comes from a place where they don’t even have Playstation 1.

In Bulgaria

I waited in hope that BBC would switch to BBC Bulgaria and not the usual miserable BBC Northern Ireland at 5 o’ clock on Saturday, to see how the young Cavanman Cillian Sheridan is doing. Alas it didn’t. Mind you, Distillery had a good win against Ards in the senior men’s hockey league though and Jackie Fullerton is still alive. Great news all round.

Candidate for most spud sounding names:

Andros Townsend

Featured for Ipswich on Saturday and Tuesday and amazingly he isn’t Irish despite his name – which suggests that he is a Ukranian version of Andy Townsend

Danny Ireland

The Aussie goalie is Coventry City’s number one. By all accounts he is a lovely man, doesn’t drive a pink jeep and both of his grannies are still alive.

So all in all it’s been a mixed week spudwise. Duff is back. Coleman is starting to feature regularly now. Keane needs goals in the Champions League and the Premier League and he needs them now. Darron “I have a fairly good shot even if I do shoot about 15 times per game” Gibson will inevitably get some games as United are in all the cups. Things will look better with Dunne back fit and at least Keith Andrews and Whelan are getting game time. Shay Given is the constant worry though. A spud can only survive without regular sun, soil and water for so long and right now, the sun is shining on Joe Hart.

 

 

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