In the second of our installments, Spud Watch looks at the current state of the Irish squad as we continue our in-depth countdown to the European Championships. Departing a quarter-life crisis and entering a mid-life one, Spud Watch wonders whether Damien Duff is our risen Messiah, asks why is Aiden McGeady interfering with kangaroos, and curses that Jedward were asked to do a Euro song while Póg Mo Goal were overlooked.
SPUD Watch becomes a normal job again as I actually have players to report on. I felt like Lieutenant Huxley in Demolition Man there for a while, wandering around yearning for things to happen – usually in the Npower Championship but in the end I’d end up on Chat Roulette crying at a group of black people wearing Yankee jerseys in America laughing at my naked body.
A SHORTER than usual Spud Watch this week as I am losing the will to live, because, with Ireland’s economy now playing in the Vauxhall Conference against teams like Darfur and Haiti, it seems like our national team may be heading in the same direction.
SEAMUS Coleman is rapidly becoming a right-sided Gareth Bale under our eyes. When you consider that this time last year, Bale was still a struggling left-back and you look where he’s at now. Coleman is already far from a struggling defender and was a real handful for the Arse in the first half, creating chances and space through acceleration, flat-out pace, decent control and the ability to make a pass.
AN EXTRA mid-week Spud Watch has been sanctioned by the editor, much to my chagrin as I’m usually out getting a lot of sex on Wednesday nights but I guess one night off won’t hurt.
I WATCHED tonight’s game with my Slovakian neighbour, Petr (who has a penchant for shouting at the wrong time and drinking foul smelling Lidl beer/toilet cleaner) and the general consensus was that this was two points lost for Ireland.