Ireland to Rescue England World Cup Bid

IT’S WORLD Cup decision day, and, in a sign of the times, the Guardian’s Irish business correspondent Lisa Carroll asks if Ireland should come to the resuce of the English bid. A bail-out of you like.

“Yes, why not thank David Cameron for his €7bn hand out and join him in his, now hopeless, World Cup bid. The bonus is we’d get a slice of the estimated €5bn revenue England 2018 is reckoning on. Enough to keep the IMF wolves at bay for a few months.”

The bid gathers further support at home such as this enthusiastic poster:

“We couldn’t host a piss up in a brewery and­ FIFA, what a bunch of @#$% heads.
Beckham hails our­ media. The British Media, our greatest critics !!
Come­ to the UK we have it all.
1. Lovely weather (bring the­ suntan lotion and a canoe)
2. Wonderful transport­ system London Tube (guaranteed to get you there if the game­ goes into extra time)
3. Friendly, cheeky local­ shop-keepers from Pakistan, India, Afghanistan,­ Narnia
4. Lovely stadium, Anfield crumbling wreck of a­ an abandoned bus shelter.
5. Lots to do and see, get­ mugged, hung, listen to Bjork songs, see the sights.
6.­ Be sure of a friendly host team, so friendly­ we’ll lose every game to make you feel at­ home.
So, can’t see anything standing in our way,­ unless Susan Boyle sings the National Anthem!”

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First posted, Dec 2010

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